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Self Realization
This article is about self realization. If you don't know what that is, well I guess I'll tell you. In my mind, it i s oneness with ones self. Knowing who you are. I know this sounds awfully cheesey, but some people have a really hard time answering this question: "Who am I?". I had a hard time answering that question myself. When I used to ask myself that, I would think well...I'm me of course. But what does that really mean? What does it mean to be you? It took me four years to find out who I was. I always thought that I was a reclusive, stay away from me type person. Until I entered into a very serious relationship. The boy I was with helped me to realize that I was not who I thought I was at all. I used to have no confidence in anything. I used to wear baggy clothes, sit in the back of the room, wear no make-up, I never played sports with my classmates. I was very socially awkward. I never wanted to talk, I was so shy, and I wanted friends more than anything in the world. Then one day, I decided to change all of that. And who would have thought that on that same day, I met my fiancé. He had never seen me before so he knew not that I was so down on everything. I decided to put on some girlie type showy clothes, no longer baggy tee's and over-sized jeans. I wore skinny jeans for the first time, and a flattering graphic tee. I wore make-up for the first time, which was just eyeliner, but it made a difference in the way i felt. At first it felt strange, because I had always thought I was uglier than anything. But this boy came up to me, the cutest boy I had ever seen. And we got together. He helped bring out the beauty in me. I was more outgoing with and/or without him. I started playing sports, I started eating lunch with people, I even started joining clubs and after school activities. He is still Lin my life. But he is not my fiancé anymore. We hit a rough patch, but he changed my life for the better. He helped me realize who I was. Now don't get me wrong, I still think I'm not all that good-looking, but I can admit that I'm not as ugly as i thought. And I'm not as awkward as I thought. I'm just...well...I'm misunderstood, by allot of people. I'm OK with that. to a certain extent. I hate the fact that it took a boy to help me realize who I was, but if he hadn't, I'd still be the creepy little girl I was four years ago. Granted, I still have room for improvement. Allot of room. I'm looking forward to bettering myself. I know this story is kind of um...well not that good...but its my story. Its far from finished. I'm very happy with who I am, although those that know me would probably say otherwise. I let on like I hate myself, but I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and about 4 other mental disabilities...so sometimes that is not my fault. I am though, I am very happy with who I have become, and I'm excited to see who I will be in the future.--XxEmoKittyxX 20:11, May 9, 2012 (UTC) Post your story here Category:Awareness